Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Guidelines

You have to know that sometimes I'll act like a 5 year old, I'll throw tantrums, I'll be insufferable. Mostly because I like you so much, I'll be frightened of the possibility of you leaving me. You have to know that sometimes I need my space, my alone time, my quiet time. I also need quiet time together with you. I need to be able to feel comfortable not saying anything, sometimes for hours. You have to know that when I'm wearing closed fancy shoes with long pants, I will be wearing ugly, goofy socks with them - just my way of rebelling against dressing up. I hate dressing up. Don't get me wrong, I'll do it if I have to, I'll even feel comfortable, but I will never ever actually like it. You have to know that I eat my side dish before anything else. No reason, I just do. OCD, perhaps. My routines are untouchable. I don't go to sleep without brushing my teeth. I can skip the shower if I'm really tired or drunk or there is no way for me to shower, but I will find a way to brush my teeth, no questions asked. In the morning I will listen to at least two songs of my choice, and if I'm running late and don't have the time to, I'll be crabby all day. You have to know that I love flowers. Yes, even if they were cut and killed. I just love them. Roses and lilies and those yellow ones I always forget the English name of. You'll have to let me go running alone at times. I love sharing the miles with you, but running is when I think, when I let all my stress out, when the world is mine and I dictate the rules. You have to know that I will go through fire and lightning for you, but one bad word about my family, and we are over. You need to support and encourage me when I find it hard to even look at them. You have to know that there are certain food types I don't eat. It's a texture thing, not a taste thing.You need to make me write when I'm in a slump. I am proudest when I write something I am satisfied with. You have to know that I need to go offline at times. I love the Internet, I love Facebook, I love Instagram, I love Whatsapp, I love texting, I love my cell, but there will be times when I need to switch it all off and enjoy the peace. A throwback-day of some sorts. Oh, and I need to go out into nature at least once every two weeks. If I don't by myself, you have to kick me - believe me, it will be better for both of us. Give me grand surprises any day! I don't need them to be public, I just need them to be well thought out and really meaningful. And grand does not mean expensive, remember that. I need you to know me inside out, I need you to be the person I will let in.

I need you to know that there is a lot of baggage I am carrying, but I am not that baggage anymore. I am OK now and I can promise you that I will give you my all, my everything, all of the minutes of my days, one at a time.

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