What a challenge! I've been blushing ever since.
This is the question humanity just can't deal with most of the time. I've suspected this for a long time, but now that I studied the global history of sex, I am more and more convinced.
I turn the pages of different scientific books, confessions, poems, philosophical, ethnographic, psychological and religious studies with burning ears and an overwhelming interest.
Frigyes Karinthy wrote an awesome play. It's called The Magic Chair and it is about a chair, that if you sit on, makes you tell the truth, makes you start speaking honestly about all those "sinful" thoughts that you keep a secret even in front of yourself. This play, if I remember correctly, ends with the chair being destroyed so the world won't come to an end.
I've been sitting on one of these chairs for two months now, and I have no idea whether I should be embarrassed, or whether I should laugh, be surprised, be amazed, or maybe if I should drop down on my knees in front of the wonder of Life, which was created to fool us (or perhaps to challenge us?). The neverending fountain of the tragedy and comedy of our lives is sex.
It is our greatest value and our greatest misery, all rolled into one.
And there's no way science could be right about this matter, because it never takes into account the deeper layers of our souls, our imaginations and the divine - the metaphysical knowledge of man and woman. In sexuality, the sensual-carnal part of our being cooperates with our most divine part: we encounter each other via our bodies and at the same time we become Creators, we can bring new life to this Earth.
I am only going to mention what I last read.
It seems to me that Jewish tradition understands this complexity. The law states that a man owes his woman three things after getting married.
Food, clothes and sex. If he cannot provide one of these: the marriage is invalid.
Obviously, there were different rabbi schools.
Talmud talks about an argument.
The Samaj school says: if the husband doesn't go near his wife for two weeks, he can be forced to divorce her.
According to Hilel's school, the deadline is one week, which means that the maximum amount of time that can be spent without sex is seven days.
Since married life duties are religious duties in the life of a man, Talmud laws clearly state how many times members of different social layers have to have sex.
Economically independent men have to have sex every day. (Wow!)
For workers, it's twice a week.
For mule-drivers, it's once a week.
For camel-drivers, it's once every thirty days.
For sailors, it is once every six months. (According to the Misna.)
But that is not all.
If a worker lives at home, or works near his house, then it's twice a week for them, as I said.
But if he is forced to work in another city, his wife can legally keep him from working because he wouldn't be able to fulfil his manly duties.
All these things seem funny today. A man of our times would actually think about whether it would be a good thing to be economically independent under these circumstances. The price to pay isn't small: at least once every day by law! That's something ...
But these are only the complicated rules. The metaphysical parts are prettier. Tradition has it that it is not only reproduction which is sacred, but also making love. So the value of making love doesn't depend on whether the man and the woman get a baby out of it or not.
It is a known fact that Saturdays are sacred.
But to hug your lawfully wedded wife or husband, this day seems like the perfect time.
"Let the sacred day be the time of the sacred act."
"Wise men of other nations teach that our sensual experiences are to be kept a secret" - says a Talmud-teacher from the 18th century. - "We say that having sex is good and it is the act of reaching a higher state. It benefits both body and soul - and it is sacred. If the act is done in the right state of soul and with the right intentions, then there is no human act which is at a higher sacred level."
Language also keeps a deep secret, which is relevant to the subject. Making love in Hebrew is called: yáda. It means: getting to know. Adam got to know Eve - and that's how little Cain was born.
If you think about how many obscene words we use for sex, which should always be talked about with respect ... And if you think about the fact that among all these obscene words and expressions, the most acceptable is probably the very scientific-sounding sexual intercourse, you will see where we have sunk with our false preconceptions and our enlightenment.
Getting to know has three stages.
Understanding. When I know with my brain, what the other is like.
The surprise factor. When I realise, "Wow, I know him/her!"
And the third and deepest stage is what Plato calls "remembering".
What do I remember? That he is mine, and I am his.
I remember you, it's just that I forgot you. Of course! We lost each other, and now, in the ecstasy of our hugs, we found each other. We are one again!
"Flesh of my flesh, soul to the soul."
This must have been what Adam experienced when he "got to know" Eve. Of course, this familiar woman was created out of his ribs. She was wripped out of him, while he was sleeping. But in the garden of Eden they were still together. He remembered her back then. And now, he is starting to recall her again ...
This is what people experience when making love is real: "I am now going to hug you back into myself, if you cuddle up real close. And you will find your place, inside of me."
No comments:
Post a Comment