Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Ravel

My heart can be broken even after three dates. He swept me off my feet right on the first night we spent together with wine and Chopin, I could have listened to him play for hours, there was no little devil on my left shoulder, I wasn't thinking about what was going to happen the next minute.

I didn't understand how we could be so close and yet so far apart. Every time he woke up during the night, he made sure that at least one part of our bodies was touching. I didn't understand it, but then again, I wasn't trying to, either. I was just living through the moments, one after another.

I found a guy who seemed so perfect, who met every expectation I had, except for one. He wasn't ready for me. Sure, I know, if the whole thing was that way or if I was that way, then he wouldn't be hesitating. He would just jump right in, or at least he would try. Through the years, I have learnt that uncertainty comes when something is missing. That little something special, you know?

I didn't understand why he hugged me so tight, why he didn't let go of me, why we were holding each other for so long while we were breaking up (?), I didn't understand why he was kissing my moist cheeks and my salty mouth, why it was so hard to free my fingers from his grasp when I stepped out the door.

I didn't understand why it could never simply just work out for me. Why can't I ever get my own happy end?

Another screwed up drawing that has to be torn out of the book.

2 comments:

Alexia said...

You don't know but... this is something you've written for me too.

Zsuzsa said...

<3